I am a Resilient Lady

New here? Welcome. My About page has the fuller story of me and WeStart Together, testimony and all. This is the shorter, weekly version: honest notes from the in-between.

A few weeks ago, on the morning I sat down to write out my food plan, my mom was admitted to the hospital. I got the call somewhere between that and deciding whose turn it was for kitty-litter duty. August was supposed to be the month I finally put myself first. Life, as it does, had other ideas.

Where am I?

I've spent the last few weeks getting the foundational content for WeStart Together out of my head and onto my website, and preparing for my first group coaching session later this year. I closed out July with a trip to Illinois to see my elderly mom. She lived independently until late last year, when she fell and broke some bones. She is a fighter, and we have gotten her through surgery and a move to assisted living in another state. My job on that trip was one last round of dejunking so she could navigate her new apartment in her wheelchair without tripping over boxes. She landed in a wonderful place, and I am grateful beyond words for my siblings, my siblings-in-law (or out-laws, as we like to say), and the care teams walking with her.

Then the season kept turning. That hospital admission became a rare and serious diagnosis, and she was quickly moved to a university hospital, because the treatment she needed is not something most hospitals keep on hand. After about a week she was discharged, and she is now in a rehab facility, getting those treatments twice a day along with PT and OT so she does not lose the strength she had worked so hard to rebuild since her fall. Somewhere in the middle of all of it, my husband and I also moved our oldest back to college. And I came home to a few other hard things I am holding privately, for people I love.

There's a line from Harley Quinn I keep coming back to:

"Normal's a setting on a dryer. People like us, we don't get normal."

If you're still reading, you know exactly what I mean. You have your own version of this.

What do I bring?

Here is what I am learning, mostly the hard way: it is far easier for me to take care of everyone else than to take care of myself. I did it raising my boys. I do it for my elders. So with this season of sabbatical, away from the Monday-through-Friday grind, I wanted August to be about building real self-care habits before life got loud again. Life did not wait.

A few months ago my doctor connected me to a program called Nourish, and I now meet with a nutritionist most weeks. We started with something small: a little time every single day, just for me. We call it my Mid-Day Sparkle, MDS for short. It began as a brownie. It has grown into a walk, a hike, or a nap. The point was never the brownie. The point is that I stop, get quiet, and unplug for a few minutes, no matter what else is on fire. When I take that pause mid-day, I am far less likely to reach for a snack or a drink at night just to feel cared for.

I have also gone back to writing my food down by hand each morning, then reflecting the next day on what I actually did. Pen and paper beats an app for me, because it makes me think before I choose. (If that speaks to you, Coach Heather at Half Size Me is where I picked it up.)

How do I move forward?

This is the part I have to coach myself on. If a friend were carrying my exact load these past few weeks, I would not tell her to push harder. I would tell her to take ten quiet minutes for the one thing that makes her happy, delegate what she can, and set down anything that isn't truly urgent.

So that is my plan, and nothing more. I am journaling my food, walking daily, and actually taking my MDS instead of skipping it. I am handing dishes, kitty litter, and a few dinners to my very capable husband and our teenager, the one still under our roof now that his big brother is back at school. And I am letting go of any pressure to push for more right now. In a stretch like this, holding steady is the win. That is enough.

Somewhere along the way I started calling myself a Resilient Lady. I'll tell you the whole story another time. For now, just know I say it on the hard weeks, and I mean it. Underneath all of it, I also know that God is with me, with my family, and with my friends, and I am grateful for His promise to never leave or forsake me. That is what I am standing on.

Come sit with me in the space between. Loose Ends lands every Wednesday. Real talk from the unfinished, one honest moment at a time.

← All posts